5 Steps For the Perfect Bath (Yes, Really.)



I didn’t take a shower till I was 12 years old.

I wasn't a hippie child or even that stinky. In fact, I washed the cooties off my body every night. (You can never be too careful. Girls lie.)

It's just my family has always taken baths.

I don't really know why. I've never asked my parents. I just assume the Ozaeta family prefers to bathe horizontally rather than vertically. Which is fine, because I love baths.

While the shower is the "hurry up, I got shit to do" option, a bath isn't rushed. It's a process, like making a perfect cup of coffee or preparing an awsome dinner.

Even the way you get into a bath is a series of steps, especially if you're like me and real sensitive to hot water lol.

First I put in one foot. Then the other. Then I stand there for a while. Then I squat down, hoping my balls don't spontaneously combust once they're lowered into the water. It takes me a good ten minutes just to be in a lying position, and another ten minutes before I dunk my head.

But man does it feel good.

A lot of guys I know don't take baths. Maybe they think they're somehow emasculating or "girlie." (To those guys I say: Really? Really?)

Or maybe it's because they've never taken one as an adult. Perhaps it's been two or three solid decades of vertical bathing.

I get it. I take a shower every day. But guys, this no bath thing is unacceptable. Which is why I'd like to share my five steps to the perfect bath.

5 Steps to the Perfect Bath

1. Set aside at least 30 minutes

Anything less and it's not a bath -- it's sitting in hot water for a few minutes. By the way, I almost never take baths in the morning. Instead, I take one in the  evening once or twice per week to "wind down".

2. Make sure the water is hot enough to last
I often heat an extra pot of water on the stovetop and pour it into the bath. I like the heat to last for the entirety of the bath, not just the first five minutes. It takes some time to get used to (which is also why it takes me a while to get into the water), but I think it's worth it.

3. Pour in Epsom salt

Forget the scented bath salt. Epsom salt—which you can buy in a huge carton at the grocery store, gas station, and even the hardware store—contains magnesium that soaks into the skin and helps speed up recovery and can even promote sleep. (I know John Berardi has UFC Champion Georges St Pierre do this the night before a fight.)

Add 2 cups to your bath while the water is running to help dissolve it.

4. Get yourself a drink

Always water. Sometimes beer, wine, or whiskey. Never milk. It's just weird.

5. Grab a magazine or book

Remember: A bath doesn't have to consist of lit candles or lavender salts (unless you're with a date in which case those things are completely acceptable.)

Try taking a bath tonight to relax and help your muscles recover. But please, no rubber duckies. They're evil.

Best in Health & Fitness,

Marty Ozaeta
Velocity Performance Training
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